After Sarah and I broke up, I went through what you might call a “bored patch”. I had a sizable apartment in San Diego, where I had staked out a fairly successful career and life was pretty good, but having just ended a long-term relationship, I couldn’t help feel a little restless.

It was the night of August 21st, 2015 and I couldn’t sleep. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, I finally gave in and flipped on the TV. In between Family Guy segments, I saw a commercial I had seen hundreds of times on late night television. “Sexy singles in your area are looking to chat”. On the screen, good looking 20-somethings gave me flirtatious looks, beckoning me to dial that number, in golden script on the bottom of the screen.

The Beginning

I don’t know why I called the sex chat service that night. Maybe it was the boredom or the insomnia, but looking back, probably a little bit of both.

I didn’t expect my conversation with Joanna to go so well, but it felt like we had chemistry from the second she answered. We talked for hours before I even realized it, but the next thing I knew, we were scheduling a date for the next night.

I picked her up at her La Jolla apartment and took her to a fancy restaurant downtown. Joanna told me about her childhood, her family and asked me about mine. We sat at the restaurant until closing, and it seemed like we had told each other everything. When we were asked to leave, she told me she wanted to come with me back to my apartment.

I don’t need to go into detail, but in the cab I could tell that Joanna wanted me, and I wanted her as well. It didn’t take long when we got in the front door before we were in bed. I couldn’t believe that this person I’d met on a chatline was so wild, and that we were completely in-sync.

But after that night, Joanna became distant. She stopped returning my calls and texts, and I only saw her two more times before she cut off contact entirely. I told myself that our connection was all in my head, that I had just imagined it, and eventually, I moved on.

The Symptoms

I thought it was the flu, which is why I tried to ride it out. I was a busy man, with no time to see a doctor for some basic flu-like symptoms. It went on for days until weeks were turning into multiple months and I wasn’t getting better. When I say flu-like symptoms, I mean the common cold. You know, runny nose, frequent fevers and general soreness, among other common symptoms. Slowly and surely, I started to get better.

It was only recently that I had more symptoms, which an online symptom checker suggested was pneumonia. I decided that going to the doctor was the best option, since pneumonia is a bit more serious than a simple cold. My doctor agreed that that was what is most likely was, but he wanted to run more tests.

The tests revealed something that I wasn’t afraid of, because I didn’t even know to be afraid of it. My immune system was weakened, and my white blood cell count was critically low. My doctor couldn’t even look me in the eye. I had HIV.

The Aftermath

As it turns out, flu-like symptoms are the first sign that you’ve contracted HIV/AIDS, and what they call “opportunistic infections”, like pneumonia, are common once the virus has preyed on your immune system.

I’ve become weak and unable to handle the daily physical tasks that life requires. I take regular naps and have been so tired on some days that I can no longer work regularly. I took some time off, and quit altogether when it became too much to take. I now spend regular time in the hospital, with sores and serious infections that my weakened immune defenses are powerless against.

The hardest part was telling my family. They looked at me with a mix of pity and shame, the same types of looks I get from people on the streets that realize what I suffer from.

Amidst all this, I’ve tried to remain hopeful and take a lesson away: hooking up with strangers can be fun, but as I learned the hard way, extremely dangerous sometimes. Always use protection, even if you’re feeling pressured. It only takes one mistake to change your entire life.

I don’t blame anyone but myself. Joanna likely doesn’t know that she’s infected and I don’t have her contact information anymore to tell her. I don’t blame the chatline, it’s only an avenue to make the mistake that will undoubtedly shorten my life.

I made the choice… I have to live with the results, forever.

After months of chasing, begging and even bribing him, we finally got a chatline moderator to sit with us and answer some of our most burning questions. He agreed to our meeting as long as we promised we wouldn’t reveal his real identity nor the chatline he works for. For the purpose of this interview, let’s call him Jerry. Here is the transcript of our meeting:

If you have any additional questions for Jerry, leave them in the comments below and we will ask him to answer.

Phone sex is supposed to be about having fun and getting intimate with your partner even when the two of you aren’t in the same room. This hilarious video from the Open Door features a hot young Brazilian couple who try to spice things up and get in the mood with a little fantasy and some dirty talk. But things don’t exactly go according to plan, as the man makes some very questionable fashion choices, and his partner can’t quite get over them and get in the mood.

Things start heating up pretty quickly in this Portuguese phone chat video, when the hot Brazilian woman calls up her boyfriend, Marcello, and asks if he wants to play a little. Marcello is quite excited by the idea, they can’t quite seem to get past taking off his clothes. Ankle socks and pajamas aren’t exactly her idea of a sexy outfit, so he comes up with a few more ridiculous ideas, including his favorite soccer jersey, and striped pants and a plaid shirt, with a pair of crocs. She almost gives up, ” It’s not even a matter that it’s not sexy Marcello, it’s a matter that plaid doesn’t go well with stripes”. So he tries again, telling her he’s in his underwear. Beige, which doesn’t exactly turn her on, either.

They get past that only for him to complain that it’s too cold when he takes off her pants. But he’s brought a friend, Corporal Lacerda, who wears a cape! Fed up, Marcello’s sweetheart announces that she has brought her own friend, Joan Rivers, who is there to give him some fashion tips. Despite the fact that his lovely lady has left the conversation, Marcello is undeterred, and continues to try to have phone sex with Joan Rivers taking the place of his paramour, all while giving him fashion advice. The timing and verbal wordplay in this Portuguese phone chat video make it well worth watching!

As the adage goes, when there’s a will, there’s a way. And when it comes to sex and its many variations, humans are very innovative. As long as there have been phones, there has been phone sex. It may not have started upon the first successful call placed, but, as most humans know, sex is never far from the mind. Even today, with FaceTime, Skype, and a limitless array of messaging apps to substitute face to face contact while apart, phone sex is still a prevalent part of society, both between members of a consenting adult relationship and through the use of phone sex operators. But there’s one very valuable group of people for whom the phone industry isn’t ideal: the deaf community.

While it’s conceivable in modern life, with cell phones and ample means of text and video-based communications, that phone sex could be considered unnecessary, this has not always been the case. Throughout the history of phone sex, since the phone’s rise to universality until the invention of text messaging and video chat, phone sex was the only alternative for individuals looking to enjoy the wonders of long-distance intercourse.

Teletypewriter

As an audio-based method of communication, the phone has long proved to be problematic for those in the deaf community. In order to ensure everyone, even those without the inability to hear normally, could partake in the wonders of the phone, telecommunications devices for the deaf were initially introduced in the mid-1960s.

Also known as teletypewriters, or TTY, textphones, and minicoms, these devices resemble small typewriters that transmit text via a phone line between two individuals with connected TTY devices. Instead of talking into a mouth piece as with a standard phone, users type the words they wish to share, and read type from their partner on a TTY device’s screen.

TTY devices were originally brought to life by Teletype Corporation, a division of American Telephone and Telegraph Company’s Western Electric, as a development of the company’s printing telegraph research. In 1960, American inventor Paul Taylor took Western Electric’s invention and combined it with a modem, creating the first simplistic TTY prototype.

TTY devices are still in use today, especially among older adults with a long history of TTY use. However, they do have some significant downsides; TTY devices are very impersonal, diminishing the intimate nature of phone sex discussions. In addition, typing can be cumbersome, especially for aging adults or those without fast, efficient typing skills who’d rather get lost in the moment instead of stopping to type.

Human Relay Phone Operators

For those who would rather not type, there are alternatives to simplify the process. Human relay operators are key parts of the deaf community, providing necessary services to both speaking and deaf individuals around the world. These services are especially valuable for deaf individuals who wish to speak with those who have normal speech and hearing, and thus do not own TTY devices.

With a human relay operator, the individual wishing to place a phone call can either dial a three digit extension, depending on location and available services, or place a call to a special phone number. In many locations, these services come in two different forms: voice carryover, or VCO, and hearing carryover, or HCO. Voice carryover refers to callers who wish to speak into the phone, and hearing carryover refers to callers who wish to listen through the phone.

When an individual requiring assistance from a human relay phone operator places a call, they are connected with an individual specially trained to relay messages back and forth between callers. In VCO, the caller speaks normally to the operator, who then transcribes the message and sends it to a TTY device. In HCO, the caller enters his or her message through a TTY device, which is then read to the other party.

Due to the ease of use, relay phone operators are extremely common, providing a human quality-control element to a phone sex conversation. While commonplace in standard communications, in phone sex, however, a third party’s involvement can be quite an awkward adjustment. In fact, the hilarity related to the discomfort of using a human operator has been well documented in pop culture, like Amy Schumer’s side-splitting monologue about phone sex with a deaf boyfriend. Despite this, many human relay operators experience phone sex on a regular basis, demonstrating an ease of use worth the awkwardness.

Sign Language Video Relay Service

Best known in pop culture from the iconic scene in 2014’s The Little Death, video relay services, or VRS, provide a video option to the traditional human operator model. In the movie, one of the characters is an operator for a video relay service, translating ASL in an awkward and embarrassing phone sex conversation. An option that allows individuals to communicate using American Sign Language, or ASL, rather than typed text, VRS requires a television or computer screen equipped with a web camera.

As the nature of VRS implies, this is a newer alternative to spoken or typed communication with an operator over a phone line. Instead of dialing a phone or TTY device and calling in, callers connect over the internet using webcam technology. A fairly recent development, VRS first gained traction in Sweden in the 1990s and rose to popularity in the United States in the mid-2000s, with licensing through the FCC approved in 2002.

VRS is widely used among the deaf community, especially between individuals who do not both speak ASL. As a medium for sex chat, it can be slightly uncomfortable – after all, VRS puts an individual face to face with a human operator – but is often employed by those with a high sex drive and urgent needs to fulfill.

Modern Technology

Modern technology has done wonders for the phone sex industry, opening up brand new avenues for those who wish to explore the delights of virtual sex. Applications like Skype, that offer both video and chat options, as well as FaceTime, text messaging apps, image and text apps like Snapchat, and voice recording software can all make communications fast and convenient. With the ability to make connections without a third-party, the world of phone sex is now much broader than ever before.

Despite the road blocks, phone sex is entirely possible within the deaf community. With alternatives like TTY, translators, and video relay service, deaf individuals who wish to recreate the sensation of getting it on over the telephone are more than welcome to do so. However, in today’s world of smart phones, tablets, and laptops, phone sex among the non-hearing isn’t as popular as it used to be. While not as personal and intimate as phone interactions, modern technology has only helped the deaf community, giving individuals with auditory struggles an equal opportunity to share in the joys of simulated sex.

For Sam, being deaf is not a limitation. The young man in this video doesn’t let it keep him from having some down and dirty fun with his favorite paramour. In this hilarious scene from the movie The Little Death, even though the woman on the other end of the phone doesn’t understand sign language and they need an interpreter, nothing can stop this couple from having phone sex in this hilarious phone chat video.

The couple is determined to keep having phone sex despite all obstacles, but the young, nubile female sign language interpreter is a little unnerved about some of the things she has to translate. The deaf man doesn’t want to stop, so he asks her to switch do a different interpreter. But she switches to an buff looking older man, and he doesn’t like the way the man looks when he signs “Your big dick feels so good when you put it in my mouth.” He begs to be switched back and the reluctant female ASL interpreter agrees. The whole scene is full of verbal and physical comedic genius, that will keep you in stitches.

If you’ve ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how hard it is – that’s what she said – to keep the romance going. And by “romance” of course I mean sexual interactions over the phone. Phone sex, as the kids call it these days. You know, when you call that special someone and say things to him or her that you would never, ever do face to face. A phone chat like that can be extremely exciting of course, but at the same time, It can hard (stop it you pervert) as well, certainly if the guy or gal at the other end of the line does not possess the ability to hear you.

Amy Schumer, the arguably little too offensive but definitely brilliant comedian found herself in this conundrum. What do you do when the other person can’t hear you? Phone sex can be awkward if you don’t know what you are doing, but imagine a scenario like this! Well according to Amy, the phone relay service that came to her rescue was not very reliable. Reliable, get it? Tough crowd, I guess. Anyway, when there is a third person acting as the translator, some things you say might be misinterpreted.

By the time a message about your boyfriend’s vagina or girlfriend’s penis reaches you, it will probably be too late to salvage the situation. Amy apparently got so uninterested in his boyfriend’s sudden boost of female reproductive organ that she had no other choice but to dump the poor guy. If you ask me, the moral of the story is pretty straightforward, if you want to enjoy a good phone sex session either find yourself a professional, or at the very least do it with someone who has the ability to hear you… So they can dump you afterwards!

Dirty talk is a delightfully sinful taboo for many people, providing an outlet to express one’s deepest thoughts, darkest desires, and most tantalizing turn-ons. Whether done in person or via another outlet for communication, the ability to explore erotic concepts through the art of language offers an undeniable allure.

Despite the recent rise of sexting, cam girls, and dirty talk apps, sex chat is not a not a new concept. In fact, as long as people have walked the earth, sex has never been far from the mind, leading to a wide and varied history of dirty talk through the ages. From Egyptian wall art to cave paintings demonstrating sexual prowess, humans have always been driven to talk about doing the dirty.

Love letters were among the first options for dirty talk, allowing virile-minded men and women to put pen to paper and let their deepest fantasies out. Private, sealed, and handled responsibly, postal services made communication of these kinds of messages convenient and affordable. With proven roots going back to ancient Egypt, messages delivered by mail have been in the forefront of human society for centuries. Need proof ancient civilizations were just as naughty as we are today? Some of history’s best-known writers and most brilliant minds are guilty of sending coquettish correspondence.

After the post came telegrams, a form of communication that rose to prominence in the mid-1800s. Gone were the days of waiting weeks for a mail carrier to deliver a note; telegrams were fast and efficient, guaranteeing a delightfully prompt way to let your beloved know of your heightened desire whenever the mood struck. Unfortunately, telegrams were more public than standard mail. As messages had to be transposed and delivered by a third party, it was much more likely that private, graphic fantasies could become subject of public gossip fodder.

Alexander Graham Bell’s invention of the telephone in 1876 brought communication – and sex chat – into a new and exciting light. Instead of sending a note and hoping your lover felt the same way, the telephone gave eager couples the perfect way to share their feelings both vocally and immediately. Adding a personal touch to previously impersonal methods of correspondence, telephone access catapulted the pleasures of dirty talking to a whole new level.

At the start of phone sex, dirty details were generally exchanged with current lovers, but Gloria Leonard changed that. As the editor of High Society magazine in the 1970s and 80s, she launched the first “900 number,” a term now synonymous with paid phone sex lines, bringing to light a highly desired service for lonely men and women looking to enjoy the pleasures of dirty talk. Still in use today, these lines charge by the minute for the pleasure of expressing one’s deepest fantasies to an anonymous stranger.

The modern day fax machine, which debuted in 1948, provided a better way to get written correspondence from point A to point B. With no middle man for delivery, adults were free to send their prurient fantasies to one another at any time. Despite the speed, however, fax machines weren’t private enough to provide a great medium for regular communication. In addition, most people did not have home fax machines due to expense and lack of necessity, making dirty chat an option in the office and rarely anywhere else.

Phone sex took on a new direction in the 1980s and early 1990s with the debut of phone dating chatlines like Livelinks. With these services, users could pay to be connected with another local single under the guise of innocent communication, although most users paid the per-minute rate for a different purpose entirely. Adding a live, realistic element to the traditional phone chat models, phone dating chatlines created a perfect outlet for frisky and adventurous individuals.

With the inception of the mainstream internet, the 1990s were a wonderful time for lovers of all things naughty. From a bounty of pornography to instant virtual communication, a digital avenue for information sharing opened a whole new world of scandalous opportunities. Email, officially dubbed as such in 1993, was the next great frontier, providing determined chatters with a private, immediate, and easy-to-use outlet for sex chat. While users were limited to those with email access and an available email address, early virtual correspondence was the foundation of modern day sex chats.

After email came chat rooms, a mid-1990s conception that linked strangers around the world. Providing easy and anonymous access to millions of people at the click of a button, AOL chat rooms were a favorite for digitally-inclined dirty talkers. Chat rooms existed based on every topic, theme, fetish, or interest, creating unlimited opportunity for sex chatting. For those not so interested in sex talk with strangers, instant messaging platforms like AIM provided a means for private communications with friends and partners, making sexy conversations fast and convenient.

As web-based video technology improved, so did the options for virtual sex chatting. Sex cams, or live webcam streams, rose to prominence in the early 2000s, giving horny men and women around the country the perfect opportunity to watch and interact with a live person. With chat features in addition to live streaming video, sex cams offer the best of both worlds, providing visual stimuli as well as an opportunity to express desires and fantasies. Some cam sites feature paid models who perform shows for guests, while others match singles together to engage in cybersex. ChatRoulette, a video chat site pairing individuals with strangers, became prevalent in 2009 and, while innocent in nature, often resulted in anonymous sex chatting. Options like Skype also allow for video sex chatting, most often between consenting partners.

With such a rich and varied history, sex chat isn’t going anywhere. The future may take us in some interesting directions, especially as mobile computing and gaming technology continues to evolve. Phone apps are growing in prevalence, and many virtual reality games, like Second Life, already permit simulated sex acts between users. While the next big thing around the corner may not be here quite yet, this we know for sure: after millennia of practice, humans aren’t likely to stop dirty talking any time soon. What innovations do you see on the horizon?

Not too many sex therapists out there boast the kind of resume which Dr. Susan Block does. A Magna Cum Laude graduate of Yale University and a Doctor of Philosophy with a major in Psychology at the California Miramar University, Dr. Suzy, as she is often playfully called is one of the world’s most intriguing and popular sex therapists today.

During her extensive career, Dr. Block has always done exceptionally well at everything from her early years at high school, through the college and doctorate years and into her later years as a professional sex therapist.

Dr. Susan made a name for herself through a variety of publications and TV appearances — all sex related — which made the public both cover their children’s eyes and ear and applaud her for her exceptional liberal views and strong feminist views of the world.

Susan is the founder of Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences which offers a wide variety of services to its clients including possibly the world’s best phone sex therapy services available. Phone sex with Dr. Susan is not just about what you might think, as the therapy is specifically designed to understand the needs and desires of every particular client and help them understand their own fetishes, fantasies and desires and then release them with the help of the experienced expert.

Dr. Block was one of the pioneers of the industry and back in the 1980s she was one of the first individuals who started telephone dating and fantasy phone lines in America. Starting these lines quickly led her to a fully-fledged career as a sexologists and phone therapist who was respected and accepted as an authority by the majority.

The kind of therapy Dr. Susan offered her clients was especially unique for the time she started it in. Back in the 1980s it was a taboo to talk about sex too much and delving into the deep fantasies and fetishes of individuals was absolutely unacceptable to most people. This is where Susan came in with her feminist standpoint and soon showed the world that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

Susan’s sexual therapy comes in many forms, with phone sex therapy being among the most popular forms. The therapy does not only revolve around sex, but also helps the client feel love, understanding, passion, intimacy, fulfillment, peace and finally the satisfaction that comes from an orgasm, much more powerful in combination with the other elements.

The phone chat therapy was introduced by the Institute itself in 1992 and has since been one of the most used phone sex services, mostly due to the discretion and cost efficiency it provides. The first several sessions of therapy with all clients are performed over the telephone and many clients choose to remain loyal to this medium, most finding the intimacy of phone sex to be quite close to the real thing.

The popular sex therapy hotline of the Dr. Susan Block Institute is open 24/7 for clients, who can simply give the institute a call and get into a therapy session at any time of their choosing. Susan recognized this need for people to get the therapy at the time of their choosing and using the phone therapy she is able to provide it to them without them having to come to her in person.

When talking to Dr. Susan people have described how she does it. The therapy will consist of analysis, technique and adventure. The conversation will start with the client divulging their fears or secrets, little by little, telling Susan their deepest and most intimate desires, fetishes and fantasies and no matter what they are and how perverted you may think them to be, Susan will go into exploring them with you and leading you on an adventure to all the senses.

While the Institute offers a number of well-trained therapists, you can still to date request to speak to Dr. Suzy herself and she will answer whenever possible, providing you with the best possible phone sex therapy you could ever imagine. Dr. Susan also offers her clients face to face alternative to phone sex, but the tone of her voice and her knowledge of human sexuality are sufficient for most.

We all knew Lois Griffin was a capable gal. Handling the infamous Peter Griffin 24/7? That cannot be an easy thing to do, yet she is passing that test with flying colors every time. Sure, a couple of times she left the man, but she always came back, didn’t she? A mother, a lover and the glue that’s keeping that dysfunctional family from falling apart, Lois is truly a marvel. It turns out she is all that and then some…

In this episode of Family Guy, Lois Griffin inadvertently lands a job working as a PSO for a phone sex company.

Who would have thought that she will feel rather comfortable working as a phone sex operator? Maybe even a little bit too enthusiastic, if you ask me. I mean, let’s face it, Glenn Quagmire is one sick man, but who knew that Lois will just follow his lead and shove everything in her mouth? Come on girl, you are better than that. Thankfully we did not have to watch the conclusion after Quag’s last request.

Also check out this funny party line commercial parody starring Lois’ husband Peter Griffin.