Amy Schumer’s Monologue on Having Phone Sex With His Deaf Boyfriend

If you’ve ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how hard it is – that’s what she said – to keep the romance going. And by “romance” of course I mean sexual interactions over the phone. Phone sex, as the kids call it these days. You know, when you call that special someone and say things to him or her that you would never, ever do face to face. A phone chat like that can be extremely exciting of course, but at the same time, It can hard (stop it you pervert) as well, certainly if the guy or gal at the other end of the line does not possess the ability to hear you.

Amy Schumer, the arguably little too offensive but definitely brilliant comedian found herself in this conundrum. What do you do when the other person can’t hear you? Phone sex can be awkward if you don’t know what you are doing, but imagine a scenario like this! Well according to Amy, the phone relay service that came to her rescue was not very reliable. Reliable, get it? Tough crowd, I guess. Anyway, when there is a third person acting as the translator, some things you say might be misinterpreted.

By the time a message about your boyfriend’s vagina or girlfriend’s penis reaches you, it will probably be too late to salvage the situation. Amy apparently got so uninterested in his boyfriend’s sudden boost of female reproductive organ that she had no other choice but to dump the poor guy. If you ask me, the moral of the story is pretty straightforward, if you want to enjoy a good phone sex session either find yourself a professional, or at the very least do it with someone who has the ability to hear you… So they can dump you afterwards!