A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… there was a sexy Yoda willing to fulfill your every desire…
We found this hilarious phone sex line parody starring the classic Start Wars characters. The video mimics the format of vintage commercials advertising phone sex hotlines during late night programming.
Lonely Are You… Call Now You Will Sexy Yoda
Interested callers are encouraged to call the number on the screen to role play with sexy version of star wars characters including Yoda, Princess Leiah, and Storm Troopers, even Darth Vader.
The Nerd Hotline: Phone Sex Line Parody Starring Paris Hilton and the Star Trek Cast
Sara Jean Underwood, was a very popular model and actress during that time, played a hilarious female Yoda. In one part of the video, she pretends to talk to a caller on the phone in which she says, “No, Jabba’s not here right now.” This line was clearly meant to entice viewers who had watched ‘Star Wars Episode 6: Return of the Jedi’, as in the beginning of the film, Jabba holds princess Leia captive in a manner that seemed to suggest she was her whore slave and princess Leia, played by the late Carrie Fisher, was dressed in a particularly enticing manner that was memorable to all star wars fans. In another intriguing line from the video, Sara Jean Underwood says, “You want me to put my light saber where?” And of course, we all know where she meant.
You Want Me To Put My Light Saber Where? Sexy Yoda
While phone sex lines may be a thing of the past, we can only hope we get something similar in the future especially now that technology has advanced incredibly well since the release of this video. Who knows, we might actually get the chance to interact with all our favorite characters through virtual reality simulations in a few years’ time.
Nerds of the world, rejoice! Play out your deepest, darkest, and sexiest fan-tasies without leaving the comfort of your Mountain Dew-soaked sofa. No awkward dates necessary.
This is the premise behind Paris Hilton’s hilarious phone sex line skit on SNL. The video- though obviously a bit dated considering that Paris Hilton (remember her?) stars in it- explores the hilarity behind the concept of a sex hotline for nerds.
Remember those late night TV commercials that run promotions for phone sex hotlines? This is exactly like that, with just one glaring difference: the operators aren’t your usual phone sex operators. Instead of playing the same old male-fantasy stereotypes, the girls manning the phones are trained to cater to the, uhm, specific tastes of the male geek populace.
Take for example the first girl that appears after Paris’s’ introduction. She’s a level eight dungeon master with a “big sharp vorpal sword” and she’s here to take your Dungeons and Dragons-loving heart away. Not a fan of D&D and prefer someone who’s into lightsabers and blasters and Force-wielding? Well, try out the hotline’s very own “Lea Organa” then. You might not be as charismatic or as handsome as Han Solo in real life, but this is your “only hope” (pun intended) in getting with a hottie like Lea in real life.
Speaking of intergalactic babes, how about someone from another beloved space series? Star Trek fans: let Nyota Uhura take you to a place where no man has ever gone before (also the woman to talk to if you want to learn more about Vulcan mating practices).
Feeling like a dirty, little hobbit? Well, why not talk to an elven princess of your own? Straight from Rivendell, this elven royalty will send you and your naughty, dirty ways straight to Mordor. She will definitely let you pass, indeed.
This phone hotline might be in the realm of fiction for now, but boy do we hope that we get something like it in the future.
In her new parody the former porn actress-now regular actress Sasha Grey nails the NSA by comparing the federal agency to a phone sex hotline. Grey suggests that joining the NSA is a great alternative to phone sex lines, or rather the ultimate phone sex chat line. Grey quotes the Patriot Act, which allows the agency to peep into phone conversations and cleverly points out that NSA also stands for No Strings Attached, which is what people calling these lines are looking for.
Dressed in sexy leather porn star stripper clothes and lying on a soft white bed with a burgundy champagne room curtain in the background, Grey asks the viewer “are you lonely? Are you bored? Do you want to listen in on the naughtiest outgoing conversations?” Her delivery is realistic and convincing as she both looks and acts like a real sex chat line spokesperson that she really could be. The parody, aside from the dialogue is as realistic as any late night phone sex commercial and once you realize what Grey is saying it is pretty hard not to burst out laughing as the dialogue hits hard with its humorous stabs at the NSA. The skit must have taken Grey and the filming crew tens upon tens of takes to complete, Grey speaks to viewers in the same tempting manner of a real life stripper or porn actress even though the dialogue is entirely off the wall and hilarious.
Grey goes on to poke more fun saying that “the NSA is the perfect way” to peep in on “phone conversations, emails, texts and Skype sessions” from all around the country. She goes on to say “why join one phone sex line” when if you get a job with the NSA you can have virtually unlimited access to any private chats with both AT&T and Verizon just by joining the NSA. The skit would be suitable on Saturday Night Live or any late night show, particularly cable channels such as HBO and Showtime as Grey in her narration says that by joining members will have unlimited access to a custom designed search engine that allows you to tap into photos sent by “Hotmail, Yahoo, Google, Facebook, Apple, AOL, YouTube, Dropbox and Pal talk, -whatever the F@ck that is.”
As the spokeswoman, Grey is beyond convincing while the humor does not let up through the entire skit as neither does the humorous criticism at the troubled National Security Agency. Grey nails the sexy and sultry voice of a late night sex chat line phone person as she says that NSA stands for “No Strings Attached” and proceeds to burn a copy of the constitution. President Obama is also parodied in the skit while making a thank you phone call to the NSA the president admits that he “has such a huge boner right now.”
Perhaps the message behind/within the skit comes next when Grey compares having unlimited access to phone conversations and photos as being “just like that movie Sliver.” The movie titled Sliver is a movie in which the main character owns a building and spies on all his tenants with hidden video cameras, watching as his tenants fight, cry, argue and have sex. The skit in effect criticizes the NSA as Grey makes the comparison and adds that “except that the ENTIRE country is being watched.”
As she is speaking to the camera, behind Grey are three men who are phone wiretapping, after Grey makes her statement one of the men, dressed in dress shirts and ties much like a federal agent, stops what he is doing, apologizes and asks “is this bugging anybody’s conscience except mine? I can’t live in a country where this type of surveillance happens!” Immediately the other two men drag him off as he tries to say that “people have a right . . .” and Grey, just like an evil brothel house hostess confirms, over a phone, she is shown earlier placing a wiretapping device into, that the “badger is in the cage.”
Whether the intent is just to make the viewing audience laugh or also to criticize and make the NSA look bad, the skit is very entertaining in an intelligent sort of way. Grey couldn’t be better cast, and the production is first rate, this skit is sure to make anybody laugh, -except perhaps the NSA.