Why Call a Sex Line When You Can Work for the NSA [Video Parody]

NSA Sex Line Parody with Sasha Grey

In her new parody the former porn actress-now regular actress Sasha Grey nails the NSA by comparing the federal agency to a phone sex hotline. Grey suggests that joining the NSA is a great alternative to phone sex lines, or rather the ultimate phone sex chat line. Grey quotes the Patriot Act, which allows the agency to peep into phone conversations and cleverly points out that NSA also stands for No Strings Attached, which is what people calling these lines are looking for.

Sexy NSA Commercial With Sasha Grey from Funny Or Die

Dressed in sexy leather porn star stripper clothes and lying on a soft white bed with a burgundy champagne room curtain in the background, Grey asks the viewer “are you lonely? Are you bored? Do you want to listen in on the naughtiest outgoing conversations?” Her delivery is realistic and convincing as she both looks and acts like a real sex chat line spokesperson that she really could be. The parody, aside from the dialogue is as realistic as any late night phone sex commercial and once you realize what Grey is saying it is pretty hard not to burst out laughing as the dialogue hits hard with its humorous stabs at the NSA. The skit must have taken Grey and the filming crew tens upon tens of takes to complete, Grey speaks to viewers in the same tempting manner of a real life stripper or porn actress even though the dialogue is entirely off the wall and hilarious.

Grey goes on to poke more fun saying that “the NSA is the perfect way” to peep in on “phone conversations, emails, texts and Skype sessions” from all around the country. She goes on to say “why join one phone sex line” when if you get a job with the NSA you can have virtually unlimited access to any private chats with both AT&T and Verizon just by joining the NSA. The skit would be suitable on Saturday Night Live or any late night show, particularly cable channels such as HBO and Showtime as Grey in her narration says that by joining members will have unlimited access to a custom designed search engine that allows you to tap into photos sent by “Hotmail, Yahoo, Google, Facebook, Apple, AOL, YouTube, Dropbox and Pal talk, -whatever the F@ck that is.”

As the spokeswoman, Grey is beyond convincing while the humor does not let up through the entire skit as neither does the humorous criticism at the troubled National Security Agency. Grey nails the sexy and sultry voice of a late night sex chat line phone person as she says that NSA stands for “No Strings Attached” and proceeds to burn a copy of the constitution. President Obama is also parodied in the skit while making a thank you phone call to the NSA the president admits that he “has such a huge boner right now.”

Perhaps the message behind/within the skit comes next when Grey compares having unlimited access to phone conversations and photos as being “just like that movie Sliver.” The movie titled Sliver is a movie in which the main character owns a building and spies on all his tenants with hidden video cameras, watching as his tenants fight, cry, argue and have sex. The skit in effect criticizes the NSA as Grey makes the comparison and adds that “except that the ENTIRE country is being watched.”

As she is speaking to the camera, behind Grey are three men who are phone wiretapping, after Grey makes her statement one of the men, dressed in dress shirts and ties much like a federal agent, stops what he is doing, apologizes and asks “is this bugging anybody’s conscience except mine? I can’t live in a country where this type of surveillance happens!” Immediately the other two men drag him off as he tries to say that “people have a right . . .” and Grey, just like an evil brothel house hostess confirms, over a phone, she is shown earlier placing a wiretapping device into, that the “badger is in the cage.”

Whether the intent is just to make the viewing audience laugh or also to criticize and make the NSA look bad, the skit is very entertaining in an intelligent sort of way. Grey couldn’t be better cast, and the production is first rate, this skit is sure to make anybody laugh, -except perhaps the NSA.