Is Having Phone Sex Allowed in Islam?

Muslim man and woman talking on a chatline

Islam is one of the most conservative religions, and most of its rules emphasize on the importance of sexual sanctity and abstinence before marriage. Phone sex is essentially sending sexually explicit messages including nude photos or having sexually charged conversations. In some cases phone sex involves masturbation. Calling a phone sex line is considered an act of fahisha or indecency.

Phone Sex Between Unmarried Muslims

Islam clearly prohibits sex before marriage; in fact having sexual thoughts about any other person other than your legally married partner is against Islamic rules. The Quran is crystal clear on remaining sexually chaste until marriage this means abstaining from any sexual acts, illicit conversations, thoughts or even sexual innuendo. However, phone sex is not as great as sin compared to actually having sexual intercourse which is referred to as zina or unlawful sexual relations between Muslims who are not married to one another. Even couples who have courted for extended periods of time and are engaged to each other but not legally married are not allowed to practice phone sex according to Islam. Muslims are taught right from childhood that sex is for procreation and is reserved for marriage, and there is no way around this rule, not even phone sex. Therefore, any Muslim couple that is engaging in any form of phone sex despite being betrothed is going against religious expectations.

The Quran recommends that Muslims should spend most of their leisure time praying to Allah and seeking righteousness. Therefore, although phone sex is allowed, it is not encouraged because men and women are advised against excessive lustful admiration that causes sexual excitement. Furthermore, Islam advises that its followers restrain from engaging in flirtatious talk and tempting situations that can lead to the need to engage in phone sex. Essentially phone sex is considered zina of the ears while cyber sex is zina of ears and eyes. Muslims are taught that allowing their eyes and ears to be tempted into committing phone sex outside marriage is allowing man’s mortal enemy (shaitaan) to win.

Phone Sex in Married Couples

The Islamic religion allows a married couple to have phone sex as long as it does not extend to masturbation. Polygamy is allowed in Islam; a man can marry up to four wives. A married Muslim is permitted by religion to have phone sex with all his four wives. However, some Muslim scholars argue that is if a man is in dire need of sex and the sexual urge can cause them to stray and commit adultery then they are allowed to masturbate while having phone sex.

There are rules that guide married couple on having phone sex without going against religious regulations. According to this rules; it is wrong to call your husband or wife with the aim of arousing them to the point masturbation or orgasm. Islam is skeptical about the subject of masturbation but allows a married couple to engage in mutual masturbation. According to religious guidelines for masturbation between a married couple to be considered right it has to happen when the couple is in the same room and uses each other’s sexual organs to arouse each other. This is known as mutual masturbation.

The Quran says “Those who will guard their chastity except from their wives or that their right hand possesses, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that is a transgressor” (islamqa.info). This implies that masturbation is wrong and evokes Allah’s wrath. The objective of having phone sex should be to create intimacy between a married couple and express love and not to arouse masturbation. Having sexual thoughts about married partners is allowed in Islam therefore fantasizing is allowed. If sexually fantasizing about a married partner without touching causes an orgasm then this is not wrong. The bottom line is Islam considers phone sex a necessary evil in marriage that not only wastes time but also wastes money. If a married couple can stay clear of it then the better.

How Islam Religion Perceives Phone Dating Chatlines?

Islam religion advises men and women to refrain from sexual lust by openly looking at each other. Additionally, it also recommends that Muslims avoid situations that can create sexual temptation and lead to cheating in marriage or sex before marriage. According to this conservative religion, dating is prohibited and the only virtuous relationship between a man and a woman is marriage. It is a sin haram to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no clear guideline on whether Muslim men or women can engage on phone dating chatlines. Based on the Quran and other sacred Islamic texts, there are no particular religious laws that prohibit or prevent a man or woman from talking over the phone. With that said, although there is no rule that prevents conversing on phone, dating is wrong according to Islam. It is a given that people who choose to use phone dating chatlines have the intention of dating. However, there is no clear indication or explanation as to when actual dating starts.

The Quran advises Muslims to refrain from exposing their eyes and ears to sexually tempting situations. Some scholars argue that when persons of the opposite sex converse over a chatline, they are intentionally exposing themselves to temptation that could result in phone sex and in extreme cases lead to masturbation. Both masturbation and phone sex are considered indecency (fahesha). Scholars with this line of thought recommend that Muslims should avoid phone dating chatlines.

On the other hand, other Muslim scholars argue that there is no law that prevents men and women from having an innocent conversation over the phone. This is as long as both callers have the conviction of true Allah-fearing Muslims. This line of thought trusts that those engaging in phone chatlines are self-controlled and can restrain themselves from being sexually explicit.